Disclaimers: Don't read this and think I'm 100% caught up on all my correspondence. I'm not. But over the last two years there's been a definite improvement in the number of letters written. There are more birthday cards, more Christmas cards, more travel postcards, more thank you notes...more personal correspondence in general. Also, don't think that as soon as a letter is written, I trot down to the mailbox to mail it off. Sometimes I do...but right now I'm preparing a bulk mailing so it will be a bit until the recipients of the letters pictured in this post actually receive them. So, there's still room for improvement...but there's already been a lot of improvement for me to be proud of!
When I write letters to my friends and family, I have certain guidelines I strictly follow.
RULE #1: Any letter is better than no letter.
This is the most important rule of all, because it's the one that keeps writing letters from being stressful or from being BIG projects. What happens when it's stressful or a big project? I avoid thinking about it, I avoid doing anything about it. It goes at the end of the to do list and gets shuffled along until it gets lost or becomes so awkward that it gets crossed out completely. I mean, who wants to write this letter:
Dear Beloved Friend, Do you remember that gift you gave me three years ago? For three years I've been using it with a sense of guilt because I know I never thanked you appropriately for it...
Or this one:
Dear Beloved Family Member, I just was writing because I've probably spent more time thinking about your birthday this year than you did. I mean, I thought about it beforehand...and even bought a card about a week afterwards. But I never signed it. I definitely never mailed it. And now six months have gone by and I've still got this card for you sitting on my desk and every time I stumble across it....
Rule #1 takes all of the excuses away. I think, "It's going to be spelled wrong!" and then I repeat to myself, "Any letter is better than no letter." I think, "They won't be able to read my handwriting!" and then I repeat to myself, "Any letter is better than no letter." I think, "A letter should be hand-written," and then I repeat, "Any letter is better than no letter." I highly recommend trying this phrase out because it's really very liberating.
When I was a kid up until high school, letter writing was a bit of an ordeal. I had to brainstorm my topics, write a rough draft, fix mistakes, re-word things, and then rewrite it. Add that many steps together and it's a small wonder I frequently stopped at Procrastination Station. Now, if I need to write a letter, I write it. I may still jot a little outline off to the side, but there's no rough draft, no re-write. Mistakes are fixed by scratching them out with my pen (not that I'm against White-Out, I just can't be bothered to go hunt it down and wait for it to dry afterwards). Because of Rule #1, whenever an obstacle to writing or mailing a letter crops up, I know the clear and obvious response is to either ignore the obstacle (funny how many obstacles are just in our heads) or solve it.
You might say that Rule #1 (Any letter is better than no letter) was gradually arrived at. You see, there are lots of moments for the idea of a letter to stall out. It might stall out before words go onto the paper. It might stall out after you finish the phrase "Dear..." It might even stall out with the letter written, in the envelope, waiting to be mailed. It might wait to be mailed for several years, in fact. Or, it might only wait a day or two.
In a day or two, a lot can change. People can move, leaving you without their new address. Big, life-changing, earth-shattering events can happen. People can die.
Don't accuse me of being melodramatic. It's happened. Especially that last one. Leaving me standing in my kitchen with the addressed, stamped envelope in my hands and nobody to mail it to.
So write your letters now. Imperfect, misspelled, typed. Two sentences on a blank greeting card. Crooked lines full of "boring" news like what you cooked for dinner the night before. Words on a page. Drawings on a page. Photographs with a few sentences on the back.
Any letter is better than no letter...and a colorful letter is best of all. (But only if you have time...and colored pencils!)
Want to see some more snippets of this week's letters?
RULE #1: Any letter is better than no letter.
This is the most important rule of all, because it's the one that keeps writing letters from being stressful or from being BIG projects. What happens when it's stressful or a big project? I avoid thinking about it, I avoid doing anything about it. It goes at the end of the to do list and gets shuffled along until it gets lost or becomes so awkward that it gets crossed out completely. I mean, who wants to write this letter:
Dear Beloved Friend, Do you remember that gift you gave me three years ago? For three years I've been using it with a sense of guilt because I know I never thanked you appropriately for it...
Or this one:
Dear Beloved Family Member, I just was writing because I've probably spent more time thinking about your birthday this year than you did. I mean, I thought about it beforehand...and even bought a card about a week afterwards. But I never signed it. I definitely never mailed it. And now six months have gone by and I've still got this card for you sitting on my desk and every time I stumble across it....
Rule #1 takes all of the excuses away. I think, "It's going to be spelled wrong!" and then I repeat to myself, "Any letter is better than no letter." I think, "They won't be able to read my handwriting!" and then I repeat to myself, "Any letter is better than no letter." I think, "A letter should be hand-written," and then I repeat, "Any letter is better than no letter." I highly recommend trying this phrase out because it's really very liberating.
When I was a kid up until high school, letter writing was a bit of an ordeal. I had to brainstorm my topics, write a rough draft, fix mistakes, re-word things, and then rewrite it. Add that many steps together and it's a small wonder I frequently stopped at Procrastination Station. Now, if I need to write a letter, I write it. I may still jot a little outline off to the side, but there's no rough draft, no re-write. Mistakes are fixed by scratching them out with my pen (not that I'm against White-Out, I just can't be bothered to go hunt it down and wait for it to dry afterwards). Because of Rule #1, whenever an obstacle to writing or mailing a letter crops up, I know the clear and obvious response is to either ignore the obstacle (funny how many obstacles are just in our heads) or solve it.
You might say that Rule #1 (Any letter is better than no letter) was gradually arrived at. You see, there are lots of moments for the idea of a letter to stall out. It might stall out before words go onto the paper. It might stall out after you finish the phrase "Dear..." It might even stall out with the letter written, in the envelope, waiting to be mailed. It might wait to be mailed for several years, in fact. Or, it might only wait a day or two.
In a day or two, a lot can change. People can move, leaving you without their new address. Big, life-changing, earth-shattering events can happen. People can die.
Don't accuse me of being melodramatic. It's happened. Especially that last one. Leaving me standing in my kitchen with the addressed, stamped envelope in my hands and nobody to mail it to.
So write your letters now. Imperfect, misspelled, typed. Two sentences on a blank greeting card. Crooked lines full of "boring" news like what you cooked for dinner the night before. Words on a page. Drawings on a page. Photographs with a few sentences on the back.
Any letter is better than no letter...and a colorful letter is best of all. (But only if you have time...and colored pencils!)
Want to see some more snippets of this week's letters?
A Christmas dinner with friends...in July!
Just one of this week's activities...
My mom started me off writing letters, something I'll always appreciate. She likes to put jokes in her letters. I don't usually do the same, but I decided my northern-hemisphere grandmother needed a random wintery-joke.
Am I lucky or what? A dolphin stuck its tongue out at me this week!
In case you didn't know, I'm an ant. I mean aunt. Or maybe I meant what I said the first time?
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